10 o'clock ranting.
*The lights flicked on in the big computer room and Dominique smiled softly, looking around. She was clad in some blue jeans, with a blue shirt that had a happy face on it. around her neck was a black and blue scarf..on her head was an aviator hat. She looked around...the place hadnt changed a bit...save for the dust and a few fairies that decided to make a home here. she didnt mind though, just walked through the bit of a crowd of them, sitting down in that old black and purple chair, turning on the computer... It took a moment but it did come on fully, the faithful sound that windows gave music to her ears. she cracked her knuckles and looked around, smiling softly then she started to type:
Well 2 more muntes before the next day..actually 1 hr and 51 minutes until the next day to be precise..oh..50.
Some things have been sneaking up on me. ON my mind and heart for a while. I dont know. Normally I dont let such things bother me... But I cant help but to....tonight.
Well I talked to Jo-cake today...which was really nice. I actually talked to him on the phone on Sunday..but rarely he gets online due to work...and I understand that. So seeing him and rping (kinda.) with him was nice. even if it was only for a good..oh..20 minutes.
I miss him a lot..even if i see him almost every day for a few moments or so... and i love him ever so dearly.. But it seems he doesnt approve of some of the things i do. For example..the narutaki's mate project i have going on...not a lot of peopel joined... which is okay. But the ones that have are really good participants. They bring art, rps... and even send notes from their characters to mine.
And then there are times I just rp. I mean..I've been doing it since i was 13. Its something I'm familiar with..something that I probably blame why I'm so anti-social on. I mean when you fantasize, make own characters and do things you normally wont do in the real world why try and be with people? lol .
It helps me forget some things of the day..and lets me be what i want to be..for a little while. im not saying its somethign I rely on... I do love to do it but i know that there are mroe important things out there. Just is just like the vacation I cant have..for qutie some time.
I dont know how to put it..but Jo-cake just..gets jealous.. .He feels that rp...wait..excuse me... erotic rp is a way of cheating and doesnt approve. I kinda regret bringing this up..
normally i do not talk of my problems....or what i feel are problems..and sometimes i feel that i make mountains out of molehills.. and I needed to take this out somewhere.
but to me this just goes on the whole trust thing. Again. I wont go into detail about the previous things... but I just feel that there are times where I feel that Joel doesnt trust me.
Trust me that I wouldnt do anything off the computer.
Okay guys, truthfully. how many people would do things they do in rp in real life? i mean some peopel actually have real life rp..which is boring as hell.. but I mean if Jo-cake knows that I love him and he has my heart..isnt that enough?
Isnt writing literature with another only that? literature? doesnt come out better with another than doing it alone? Be it fantasy, action..erotica? It comes out better when another head is involved. Dont know what you would have missed..
im jsut confused...words arent coming out right..things arent fluid. This is just a rant and All I know is that Narutaki's project is almost over. It is the last week in November...he has to chose a mate.. and the person I chose is going to roleplay it out so we can make a story and my character can no longer live alone. gah I'm ranting on! Maybe cause I know it would upset Joel..but then again..not finishing this will upset me.. and I'll feel sad...and I'll feel pent up. Is that how its supposed to be...?
Normally , me being a rebel and one always alone I'm used to doing what I like..making others happy in the process. The one with friends, hell even friends with benefits..but never a true love. One who was good at giving love advice but then never had the chance to use them herself. And so right now I say..
"fuck it. I do what I want and if Jo-cake has a problem then he just does. If i wanna rp then fine..as long as im not humping anyone in the real world. I f im not doing drugs or summoning things that will surely wipe out mankind then things are cool"
But then why do i feel so bad? Why does it sound liek im cold-hearted? cause i would hurt another and sacrifice my own happiness? i just want to rp and not to make him upset... but I feel that maybe I'm not all in the wrong. He will have to trust me sooner or later. There are time where i ask him if he trusts me...he hesitates... once he said
"I trust you...but only to an extent."
owch, man. I mean in love...thats the first thing you have to do is trust another. If theres no trust theres no nothing. I trust Joel. Knowing him and his jealousy and how i know that he doesnt liek hypocrites i trust him to death. I know that he wouldnt do anything... but i also know that he doesnt trust me..
okay..right here right now ill tell the truth. I rp a lot. many times. but Ive never done anything farther than kissing in my life. You can quote me on that. YOu can write it on stone. Nothing. NOTHING. no sex, no orgies, no drugs, nada.
And rp is where myfantasies and writings go... it does te things i wouldnt do in reality. or havent done. well..hanging upside down.. ic ant do that..but i do it in rp.. so yea...things i cant do.
So joel doesnt trust me cause i write with others? Sorry but to me that seems a bit..well..small. if i had sex with others. now THATS a different story.
He tells me I dont see it his way. I do..but i jsut see it as going maybe a bit..over the top. i dont know..maybe because I can be a cold-hearted bitch. Maybe because im a bit of a free-bird and lenient. Maybe cause I can be indifferent and dont give a rats ass if jo-cake did an rp with 10 others. as long as hes having the time of his life. and..as long as he doesnt do it in real life..without me of course . =3 Actually... okay maybe people can see me crazy..but if he went on an orgy in real life..i'd be hurt. But iw oudl want him to have fun.
There was this one girl at his school that actually wanted to go otu with him..and i actually told him if he wnated to..then he could.
He called me crazy and got mad.. XD
She chuckled for a moment and then closed her eyes, sighing softly.
Well I think tahts enough ranting..and though all of this I guess it just narrows it down to the main reason. M'love , let me have my fun. if you can only trust me in my reality..then let me be in my fantasy worlds..let me draw what i want, let me write what i wish , be who i wish and please do not be offended by my roleplays. And more importantly...
Trust me.
She sat there for a moment, reading her post over and then she nodded, soon getting up and pressng the Publish button. She shivered..god it was starting to get cold and slowly she turned, going to walk out. Before she did she heard a soft and familiar grunt and looking above her...she saw a young looking dark skinned boy...black hair fallen over his face, huge fox ears flickering. His huge bushy tail swayed as it hung over the shelf, tickling the top of Dominique's head. She smiled and then whispered softly, barely audible.
"G'night, Nikuumo."
And soon she was gone.
Quote of teh day:
"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved"
-George McDonald
Rp issues
I talked to Joel for a moment and it was nice...hes still with our baby..and appearantly put him on pause....
Ade and I talked more on Narutaki's mate. Its going smoothly and tommorows the last day of november. We are to be done soon.
Oh yea..I was a penquin for a little while with Max, Ross and J. It was only for a few moments.
Max brought me back to normal. Ross jsut sneeze since he was sick. andJ..only talked to me for liek 2 minues since he had to go to work.
*The lights flicked on in the big computer room and Dominique smiled softly, looking around. She was clad in some blue jeans, with a blue shirt that had a happy face on it. around her neck was a black and blue scarf..on her head was an aviator hat. She looked around...the place hadnt changed a bit...save for the dust and a few fairies that decided to make a home here. she didnt mind though, just walked through the bit of a crowd of them, sitting down in that old black and purple chair, turning on the computer... It took a moment but it did come on fully, the faithful sound that windows gave music to her ears. she cracked her knuckles and looked around, smiling softly then she started to type:
Well 2 more muntes before the next day..actually 1 hr and 51 minutes until the next day to be precise..oh..50.
Some things have been sneaking up on me. ON my mind and heart for a while. I dont know. Normally I dont let such things bother me... But I cant help but to....tonight.
Well I talked to Jo-cake today...which was really nice. I actually talked to him on the phone on Sunday..but rarely he gets online due to work...and I understand that. So seeing him and rping (kinda.) with him was nice. even if it was only for a good..oh..20 minutes.
I miss him a lot..even if i see him almost every day for a few moments or so... and i love him ever so dearly.. But it seems he doesnt approve of some of the things i do. For example..the narutaki's mate project i have going on...not a lot of peopel joined... which is okay. But the ones that have are really good participants. They bring art, rps... and even send notes from their characters to mine.
And then there are times I just rp. I mean..I've been doing it since i was 13. Its something I'm familiar with..something that I probably blame why I'm so anti-social on. I mean when you fantasize, make own characters and do things you normally wont do in the real world why try and be with people? lol .
It helps me forget some things of the day..and lets me be what i want to be..for a little while. im not saying its somethign I rely on... I do love to do it but i know that there are mroe important things out there. Just is just like the vacation I cant have..for qutie some time.
I dont know how to put it..but Jo-cake just..gets jealous.. .He feels that rp...wait..excuse me... erotic rp is a way of cheating and doesnt approve. I kinda regret bringing this up..
normally i do not talk of my problems....or what i feel are problems..and sometimes i feel that i make mountains out of molehills.. and I needed to take this out somewhere.
but to me this just goes on the whole trust thing. Again. I wont go into detail about the previous things... but I just feel that there are times where I feel that Joel doesnt trust me.
Trust me that I wouldnt do anything off the computer.
Okay guys, truthfully. how many people would do things they do in rp in real life? i mean some peopel actually have real life rp..which is boring as hell.. but I mean if Jo-cake knows that I love him and he has my heart..isnt that enough?
Isnt writing literature with another only that? literature? doesnt come out better with another than doing it alone? Be it fantasy, action..erotica? It comes out better when another head is involved. Dont know what you would have missed..
im jsut confused...words arent coming out right..things arent fluid. This is just a rant and All I know is that Narutaki's project is almost over. It is the last week in November...he has to chose a mate.. and the person I chose is going to roleplay it out so we can make a story and my character can no longer live alone. gah I'm ranting on! Maybe cause I know it would upset Joel..but then again..not finishing this will upset me.. and I'll feel sad...and I'll feel pent up. Is that how its supposed to be...?
Normally , me being a rebel and one always alone I'm used to doing what I like..making others happy in the process. The one with friends, hell even friends with benefits..but never a true love. One who was good at giving love advice but then never had the chance to use them herself. And so right now I say..
"fuck it. I do what I want and if Jo-cake has a problem then he just does. If i wanna rp then fine..as long as im not humping anyone in the real world. I f im not doing drugs or summoning things that will surely wipe out mankind then things are cool"
But then why do i feel so bad? Why does it sound liek im cold-hearted? cause i would hurt another and sacrifice my own happiness? i just want to rp and not to make him upset... but I feel that maybe I'm not all in the wrong. He will have to trust me sooner or later. There are time where i ask him if he trusts me...he hesitates... once he said
"I trust you...but only to an extent."
owch, man. I mean in love...thats the first thing you have to do is trust another. If theres no trust theres no nothing. I trust Joel. Knowing him and his jealousy and how i know that he doesnt liek hypocrites i trust him to death. I know that he wouldnt do anything... but i also know that he doesnt trust me..
okay..right here right now ill tell the truth. I rp a lot. many times. but Ive never done anything farther than kissing in my life. You can quote me on that. YOu can write it on stone. Nothing. NOTHING. no sex, no orgies, no drugs, nada.
And rp is where myfantasies and writings go... it does te things i wouldnt do in reality. or havent done. well..hanging upside down.. ic ant do that..but i do it in rp.. so yea...things i cant do.
So joel doesnt trust me cause i write with others? Sorry but to me that seems a bit..well..small. if i had sex with others. now THATS a different story.
He tells me I dont see it his way. I do..but i jsut see it as going maybe a bit..over the top. i dont know..maybe because I can be a cold-hearted bitch. Maybe because im a bit of a free-bird and lenient. Maybe cause I can be indifferent and dont give a rats ass if jo-cake did an rp with 10 others. as long as hes having the time of his life. and..as long as he doesnt do it in real life..without me of course . =3 Actually... okay maybe people can see me crazy..but if he went on an orgy in real life..i'd be hurt. But iw oudl want him to have fun.
There was this one girl at his school that actually wanted to go otu with him..and i actually told him if he wnated to..then he could.
He called me crazy and got mad.. XD
She chuckled for a moment and then closed her eyes, sighing softly.
Well I think tahts enough ranting..and though all of this I guess it just narrows it down to the main reason. M'love , let me have my fun. if you can only trust me in my reality..then let me be in my fantasy worlds..let me draw what i want, let me write what i wish , be who i wish and please do not be offended by my roleplays. And more importantly...
Trust me.
She sat there for a moment, reading her post over and then she nodded, soon getting up and pressng the Publish button. She shivered..god it was starting to get cold and slowly she turned, going to walk out. Before she did she heard a soft and familiar grunt and looking above her...she saw a young looking dark skinned boy...black hair fallen over his face, huge fox ears flickering. His huge bushy tail swayed as it hung over the shelf, tickling the top of Dominique's head. She smiled and then whispered softly, barely audible.
"G'night, Nikuumo."
And soon she was gone.
Quote of teh day:
"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved"
-George McDonald
Rp issues
I talked to Joel for a moment and it was nice...hes still with our baby..and appearantly put him on pause....
Ade and I talked more on Narutaki's mate. Its going smoothly and tommorows the last day of november. We are to be done soon.
Oh yea..I was a penquin for a little while with Max, Ross and J. It was only for a few moments.
Max brought me back to normal. Ross jsut sneeze since he was sick. andJ..only talked to me for liek 2 minues since he had to go to work.
posted by Lady Sad'e at 11:11 PM
0 comments
