Weird day...

Hey folks! been a whlie since ive been writing, I know. Im just bogged down with Homework from Geometry, goverment and Japanese...and i do get pretty tired. also ive been helping with remodling the house and helping Alexis move it. she brought a lot of her furniture here so the house looks like a house. we actually have a table in the dining room! yay!

The three-day weekened was pretty nice...got to talk to friends, get some t.v watching done (Teen Titans, GO!! ) and got my hair done!

However, there were some bad times too.

I was brused and beaten, got burned 5 times on my scalp and got a sudden IM. Thats not bad really, but my speakers were up full blast so the sound i heard was a little too loud for comfort. Who was the IM from? Well none other than the red-head...

It was very strange for me...we havent really talked since hot august days... and even then it was a bit awkward. sure, we had a few laughs..but something was missing. I dunno..it was kind of hard to explain. It was like she had something to say to me but wasnt saying it...

anyway, she IMed me and was telling me about this 'Casey' fellow. Im happy that she found someone else to kinda lust over.. *smirks* heard hes pretty strange...maybe thats why shes so..chipper. Anyway she was all telling me about her feelings about him...and some other stuff which kinda freaked me out. guess its because of her constant disappearing act (coming and staying for a little while and then leaving for long periods of time) and her..happiness. o.O its been a while since ive actually seen her happy. Like..happy happy.

Or is she? anyway, because of the little RP/ chat we had, i was thinking about her....why was she so chipper? why, after all this time, she comes back out of the blue all happy like nothing happend? Is that her defense mechanism; running off for a long time until smoke clears then comes back to avoid questions, scolding and other things that will make her feel uncomfortable because she cant adapt? *sigh*

When i listen, she confuses me. When i actually sit and just listen to her soul..not her words, being lost in silence, i can just hear someting beautiful but caged, scared of something. But when i see her...hear her words that flow from her mouth or the way that she acts its something different. like a cloak... I try and learn to help her, to make her be better and not have the feelings that she has. however shell change or lash out like a wounded animal, not wanting help because she cant trust but knows that maybe deep down in her soul..she wants it.

me, being a true friend, try and help her...try and be there for her. her comfort, her gaurdian, like i would for any of my friends. I would like things to change, to make things better..but it cannot be done with just me. i need her help as well...but she keeps hurting me. My body is fine but my my heart, my soul has been damaged. Even as i speak that special muscle in my body is sewn many times over many scars but still has tears and bruises. the soul that brings out my personality; my pride, joy, and love has a broken wing that is mending but very slowly.

why must she torment me so? Maybe im tormenting myself as well.

RP issues..

Steven and I have started a special RP. Its like a mixture of Tarzan and Lion King; a goverment is abusing its power and a young woman with the help of a Tiger man comes in to change things.

Pet got in a bit of a fight with wolves but Mir came and save her...awww.. ^^

Mike has been turned human after going on a bit of a rampage with Yakki and having his wings ripped off. Hes trying to find a way to get his ultimate power unleashed.

A little bit of an Rp with charlie...actually he jsut started to repeat poetry/song lyrics and stated to scare me. O.o;

Papamom ( tianna's char) is trying to get back into the house and be with the kids but mother has something else to say about that and has brought out a bit of rules.

Quote of the day

I seem to be a verb.

-Buckminster Fuller