New Years Eve.

Dominique was sitting in the room of the demon's fridge once again..but this time it was a bit more crowded. And louder. And lit up..

The room was pushed back, cleaned and spacious now..looking like a ballroom. THe old floor that was dull wa sbrightened with a glow that came from below the ground. The walls seeming to come alive as well. The ceiling? painted with angels, parrots, and moonlight. The feathers of the parrots seemed to glow with a mysterious light. It was a celebration; a new years celebration, and it seemed that everyone was there. All of her characters anyway. She was happy enough, seeing them dressed up so formal, being with each other, their friends, their lovers and families. Even Nikuumo came, when at first he wasnt, bringing along his beautiful mate, Mewt and all of his childreen. ALong with the ice demon came Scarlet and Deimos, Nikuumo's parents and also some of his siblings.

Everyone was dressed nicely, including Dominique. Standing there she wore a flowing strapless gown of black and blue. She wore elbow-length gloves which were suprisingly fingerless but made of wonderful silk. Her hair was flipped , not having the usual bangs over her eyes but instead it was pulled back with two clips of black and blue flowers, which worked nicely. What was on her feet? Nothing..she stayed barefoot....This place was like a 2nd home to her..it was not necessary to wear shoes.

She conversed with her personas..the people they brought, having fun and enjoying herself but soon even she had to move back to recharge her batteries. Dom, normally used to being alone, still had that itch about her..and she just went off to be by herself.

She let everyone have their fun, slipping away unnotcied and soon she went through a small door, inside a room...it was slightly dusty and not as luxurious as the room outside..but there in the middle of the room was her old faithful computer. She smiled warmly, eyes opened halfway and slowly she walked forward, sitting down and starting to write.

Well it seems that everyone is having a good time. I was kinda stuck being here by myself but I made good with it; inviting my personas to come and hang with me. Who knows? maybe I will find one of my friends who might want to go to the club..get out of this formal wear to shake it. *Chuckles*


Everyone seems so happy out there...Nikuumo smooching with Mewt, Midnight with Neta goofing off, Sara adding music with the orchestra. I am a bit happy as well but...I'm sure I would be happier with some of my friends. Like Mike and T.K and Jojo ...and of course Joel.

Tonight..nothing is really going to happen for me. The REAL party is tommorow. We are supposedly going to be having a fish-fry with my family...and that seems nice. And I guess that truly works. Im frankly quite tired for just running on 4 hours of sleep and I know i hafta get up early tommorow.

10 o'clock ranting.

*The lights flicked on in the big computer room and Dominique smiled softly, looking around. She was clad in some blue jeans, with a blue shirt that had a happy face on it. around her neck was a black and blue scarf..on her head was an aviator hat. She looked around...the place hadnt changed a bit...save for the dust and a few fairies that decided to make a home here. she didnt mind though, just walked through the bit of a crowd of them, sitting down in that old black and purple chair, turning on the computer... It took a moment but it did come on fully, the faithful sound that windows gave music to her ears. she cracked her knuckles and looked around, smiling softly then she started to type:


Well 2 more muntes before the next day..actually 1 hr and 51 minutes until the next day to be precise..oh..50.
Some things have been sneaking up on me. ON my mind and heart for a while. I dont know. Normally I dont let such things bother me... But I cant help but to....tonight.

Well I talked to Jo-cake today...which was really nice. I actually talked to him on the phone on Sunday..but rarely he gets online due to work...and I understand that. So seeing him and rping (kinda.) with him was nice. even if it was only for a good..oh..20 minutes.

I miss him a lot..even if i see him almost every day for a few moments or so... and i love him ever so dearly.. But it seems he doesnt approve of some of the things i do. For example..the narutaki's mate project i have going on...not a lot of peopel joined... which is okay. But the ones that have are really good participants. They bring art, rps... and even send notes from their characters to mine.

And then there are times I just rp. I mean..I've been doing it since i was 13. Its something I'm familiar with..something that I probably blame why I'm so anti-social on. I mean when you fantasize, make own characters and do things you normally wont do in the real world why try and be with people? lol .

It helps me forget some things of the day..and lets me be what i want to be..for a little while. im not saying its somethign I rely on... I do love to do it but i know that there are mroe important things out there. Just is just like the vacation I cant have..for qutie some time.

I dont know how to put it..but Jo-cake just..gets jealous.. .He feels that rp...wait..excuse me... erotic rp is a way of cheating and doesnt approve. I kinda regret bringing this up..

normally i do not talk of my problems....or what i feel are problems..and sometimes i feel that i make mountains out of molehills.. and I needed to take this out somewhere.

but to me this just goes on the whole trust thing. Again. I wont go into detail about the previous things... but I just feel that there are times where I feel that Joel doesnt trust me.

Trust me that I wouldnt do anything off the computer.

Okay guys, truthfully. how many people would do things they do in rp in real life? i mean some peopel actually have real life rp..which is boring as hell.. but I mean if Jo-cake knows that I love him and he has my heart..isnt that enough?

Isnt writing literature with another only that? literature? doesnt come out better with another than doing it alone? Be it fantasy, action..erotica? It comes out better when another head is involved. Dont know what you would have missed..

im jsut confused...words arent coming out right..things arent fluid. This is just a rant and All I know is that Narutaki's project is almost over. It is the last week in November...he has to chose a mate.. and the person I chose is going to roleplay it out so we can make a story and my character can no longer live alone. gah I'm ranting on! Maybe cause I know it would upset Joel..but then again..not finishing this will upset me.. and I'll feel sad...and I'll feel pent up. Is that how its supposed to be...?

Normally , me being a rebel and one always alone I'm used to doing what I like..making others happy in the process. The one with friends, hell even friends with benefits..but never a true love. One who was good at giving love advice but then never had the chance to use them herself. And so right now I say..

"fuck it. I do what I want and if Jo-cake has a problem then he just does. If i wanna rp then fine..as long as im not humping anyone in the real world. I f im not doing drugs or summoning things that will surely wipe out mankind then things are cool"

But then why do i feel so bad? Why does it sound liek im cold-hearted? cause i would hurt another and sacrifice my own happiness? i just want to rp and not to make him upset... but I feel that maybe I'm not all in the wrong. He will have to trust me sooner or later. There are time where i ask him if he trusts me...he hesitates... once he said

"I trust you...but only to an extent."

owch, man. I mean in love...thats the first thing you have to do is trust another. If theres no trust theres no nothing. I trust Joel. Knowing him and his jealousy and how i know that he doesnt liek hypocrites i trust him to death. I know that he wouldnt do anything... but i also know that he doesnt trust me..

okay..right here right now ill tell the truth. I rp a lot. many times. but Ive never done anything farther than kissing in my life. You can quote me on that. YOu can write it on stone. Nothing. NOTHING. no sex, no orgies, no drugs, nada.

And rp is where myfantasies and writings go... it does te things i wouldnt do in reality. or havent done. well..hanging upside down.. ic ant do that..but i do it in rp.. so yea...things i cant do.
So joel doesnt trust me cause i write with others? Sorry but to me that seems a bit..well..small. if i had sex with others. now THATS a different story.

He tells me I dont see it his way. I do..but i jsut see it as going maybe a bit..over the top. i dont know..maybe because I can be a cold-hearted bitch. Maybe because im a bit of a free-bird and lenient. Maybe cause I can be indifferent and dont give a rats ass if jo-cake did an rp with 10 others. as long as hes having the time of his life. and..as long as he doesnt do it in real life..without me of course . =3 Actually... okay maybe people can see me crazy..but if he went on an orgy in real life..i'd be hurt. But iw oudl want him to have fun.

There was this one girl at his school that actually wanted to go otu with him..and i actually told him if he wnated to..then he could.

He called me crazy and got mad.. XD


She chuckled for a moment and then closed her eyes, sighing softly.

Well I think tahts enough ranting..and though all of this I guess it just narrows it down to the main reason. M'love , let me have my fun. if you can only trust me in my reality..then let me be in my fantasy worlds..let me draw what i want, let me write what i wish , be who i wish and please do not be offended by my roleplays. And more importantly...

Trust me.

She sat there for a moment, reading her post over and then she nodded, soon getting up and pressng the Publish button. She shivered..god it was starting to get cold and slowly she turned, going to walk out. Before she did she heard a soft and familiar grunt and looking above her...she saw a young looking dark skinned boy...black hair fallen over his face, huge fox ears flickering. His huge bushy tail swayed as it hung over the shelf, tickling the top of Dominique's head. She smiled and then whispered softly, barely audible.

"G'night, Nikuumo."

And soon she was gone.

Quote of teh day:

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved"

-George McDonald

Rp issues

I talked to Joel for a moment and it was nice...hes still with our baby..and appearantly put him on pause....

Ade and I talked more on Narutaki's mate. Its going smoothly and tommorows the last day of november. We are to be done soon.

Oh yea..I was a penquin for a little while with Max, Ross and J. It was only for a few moments.

Max brought me back to normal. Ross jsut sneeze since he was sick. andJ..only talked to me for liek 2 minues since he had to go to work.

Help.

I am not trusted within my own house. My love is going through shit and I cannot be by his side. My friend cries. My equality is not being shown.

Someone come and stop this pain.

Quote of the night:

"Theres something out there far from my home
A longing that I've never known...."

-Lyric from "Jack's Lament" -- Nightmare Before Christmas.

Dom was seen sitting down at the computer in the cluttered and now dusty area of the Press room. She sighed, leaning back in her chair, a bowl in front of her filled with vanilla and crunch ice cream. She took a bite and then stared at her screen in thought. She sat there and sighed, closing her eyes. So many things were going through her mind...some of them not even appropriate.... but she didnt know how to express it to anyone. Surely Joel wouldnt be able to understand. Mike and Charlie would be left in the dark. As for Tianna..well..she was part of it. This was teh main reason.

Putting her spoon down she began to write, eyes furrowed in thought :

So many things happening..So many things happening at once. Bittersweet. Giving me all I've wanted. I have love. I have affection. I have someone that truly cares for me ... No matter waht.

Maybe I've had it for a while..but not in the degree I wished it. Now.. I do..and it feels so grand..

But at the same time....when I went from my friend's house. She gave me the same attention. The same affection that it didnt matter waht was wrong with me. She would listen. She would talk like I was a true friend...which is truly grand...

It is also something any relationship should start with. Friendship..

However. Something else happens... My head swims. I lose my thought. And for some reason I hear my name being called...along with somethign else. Something deep within me I cannot explain...

I lose my nerve sometimes. There are thigns I want to tell her...and its not like what some people think. Not like that at all. Just some simple things I could tell ANY of my other friends..but not her...and i dont know why..

Hopefully this friend will not read it. Nor will anyone else who reads it will think ill of me. Jo-cake..? I could tell him but I fear jealousy will sprout... when all I need right now is answers to my questions and affection.

But .. I'm sleepy now.. I need to rest. Until next time demon fridgie..

RP issues

None really. No one wants to rp with me. *Sighs*

Quote of the day

"For the last time, NO you cant rape yourself!"

-Dominique

Yesterday I was rping with jo-cake and he went to look at my other characher's profile...and he saw that Sparrow Marriweather..was mated.

Now mind you, Sparrow is my first RP character ever under Yahoo messenger... I made yusuke, which i met jo-cake under, later...after Hige...and Seto Kaiba.. *Snickers*
But...as usual...jo-cake went green..with jealousy.

He started to go on and on about how its considered cheating to have my other chrarcters to be considered mates and lovers..becuase when you rp a peice of your heart goes out to that person...

To me, I never thought about it like that...but.. i consider it true. The person who is Sparrow's mate... i care for...but probably not as strong as Jo-cake. Yes, we were together before..but things came up and we broke up.. and yea... we made it so the characters could come back together.. but i dont know if that relationship is the same irl.
Anyway... goes down to this. I dont feel that jo-cake should be so jealous..becuase i rp with others..because they have mates... for to me i see it as playing around..as games. i feel..that he's prbaobly taking a it a little bit too seriously. I see where he's coming from... I totally understand... i dont know..

Maybe I am too detached for my own good... Is that bad?

Rp issues

Some Angsty Rp with Joeseph yesterday. He told me of his coven..buti cant really talk about it.

J0-cake and i rped ourselves which was nice.. *Smiles* i do miss rping as Yusuke though...

Hello, my duckies!

Im in a rollercoaster of emotion. things are acting okay with Jo-cake..but im a bit worried. he gets jealous a lot. I wish I can prove to him taht he doesnt need to be.

rp issues

none.

Hollow Child.

So many things have happened during the last time I've written. I've found love, I've found a companion and Ive also fround out...that my house is too small to be remodeld! *Chuckles softly* But its looking good..never thought the house would even have hardwood floors...and the doors just look absolutely wonderful. When i sit out in front of them I feel like I'm in a japanese home.. I Dont know why..but it feels great.

Just ...feels good right now.. .to have the things I've always wanted. Love, change.

But why do I feel so sad...? why do I feel hollow on one moment and full the next?

I feel that something is truly wrong with me...

Yesterday, Jo-cake and I were writing stories together; where each of us is telling a chapter. But...when I wrote the description of mine... i said he was someone i really care for... and not someone i love. not telling the truth that he was my boyfriend. I mean hell, I want to scream it out to the world!!

I love him! I love Joel Molina! My Jo-cake!

But...there are things I fear. It seems that whenever I speak of things that I hold dear..things that I love. They get taken away from me... An evil eye of some sorts..a demon ...takes away all the things that I love..

It happened with my father. My friends. My mother... all of the things I look forward to..the things that I care most about..things that are rightfully mine that are taken away from some uncertain event. Death, Fights, no more attention.

Is it jsut that im superstitious? Is it becasue....because I put so much thought into it and thats its a coincedence? I felt that at first..that.. 'oh, its no biggie. its just a coincencedence. its not going to happen again' but then..it happens over and over..wehre i talk so much about someone , about something, that its gone from my grasp in an instant.

So..yes... I love Joel. I love him to death. If I had to pick someone to spend my life with it probably be him. Im just scared to say it. Not becuase I'm scared of my feelings...cause im scared of what the evil eye might do....

I guess I just..fear... "how long will this happiness last?"

Rp issues...

tons... of couse Gatita (my new cat character) and jo-cake are doing very well. As of now they kinda have adopted kids. baby bunnies! 8 of them. Names: Owen, Jessica, Lulu, Akito, Sheik, Glo, Chocobo, Esculidar.

Quote of the day

"I know I dont know you...but I want you..so bad. "

Lyric from Maroon 5's Secret